Monday, October 13, 2008

No Newspaper on Thanksgiving? Someone took a day off? WTHeck?

I look forward to the next few days after a major holiday when Letters to the Editor appear that say something like the following:

No wonder the world’s going to H-E-double hockey sticks in a hand-basket.

I didn’t get my newspaper on Monday. What’s up, you lazy toots?

You don’t know how to run a newspaper or your life and you ruined mine.

I deserve a paper!

I’m thinking strongly about cancelling my subscription.

Signed: Your friend, Elsie.

People like Elsie should sit right down and write themselves a letter and make believe it came from me.

Dear Elsie,

It goes without saying - your hair’s on too tight.


Some of the hard-working folks that make your comfortable daily routine so comfortable took a day off - just like you probably do on occasion.

Do this.

Put the dates of major holidays on a note and tape it to your bathroom mirror:

Add these words:

“Warning. You may not get a newspaper after holidays. Be prepared to turn on the radio for news. Tried TV?”

Signed: Your friend, Gord

There, that oughtta do it.

Don’t you just love Letters to the Editor? Got a favourite?

.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Who needs a newspaper when so many intelligent bloggers are diligently, selflessly keeping people informed and entertained through the holidays?

G. Harrison said...

Excellent comment, Brian!

The blogosphere seldom rests.

Maybe it should?

cheers,

gord h.

G. Harrison said...

folks,

check out brian's (above comment) blog when you have a moment.

an excellent writer, makes you think.

tell him gord sent you.

cheers,

gord h.

bobbie said...

I've read a few winners. Can't think of one at the moment. But our local paper has developed something worse. They call it "Spout Off". They accept anonymous paragraphs from people on whatever subject they may choose, and print them every week. As you may guess, it turns into a ridiculous feud on stupid things going on in the area. Without having to identify themselves they really let loose.

G. Harrison said...

hi bobbie,

i hope other readers who have had a grade school crush visit your site today.

the anonymous factor bothers me re Spout Off. people can come out swinging and not have to defend their views as carefully.

I like real names.

Cheers,

Gord H.

Anonymous said...

Thanks Gord, that's an encouraging complement. I want to write more about London blogs -- if the economic and political news ever slows down -- and yours is sure to be mentioned positively. I especially liked your small house series, btw, which I followed via rss.

Cheers,
Brian

Anonymous said...

But ... but ... didn't the minions at the LFP have the previous day off? Oh, I know that they publish something on Sundays, but you can hardly call it a newspaper, can you? It's so small, they probably put it together on Saturday. Does anybody ever show up on Sunday? I know their bloggers disappear every weekend. Maybe you're being too tough on poor Elsie. She may have a point.

Anonymous said...

You're right about Brian's blog. He seems to share my thoughts on cynicism.

G. Harrison said...

Thanks for the return visit, Brian.

Passive houses (from germany) were mentioned on the news last night so perhaps I'll touch on small houses again.

And the small waterfront lot is still for sale in Port Burwell. Plans for a 900 sq. ft. home aren't dead yet.

Gord H.

G. Harrison said...

Very good, Greg. Elsie may indeed have a point.

The Sunday issue of the LFP is just thick enough to qualify as a newspaper, though it's a bit light on news.

Cheers,

Gord H.