Tuesday, April 26, 2011

“IT STRIKES” Again: I’m still a few quarters short of a health card - Exciting Conclusion

[The following story was first published in The Londoner on Oct. 24, 2002 under my current byline, It Strikes Me Funny. Please click here to read PT 1 for context. Also, the story is funnier if you had to renew your Ontario Health card recently. gah]

I’m still a few quarters short of a health card

A short, dark-haired man with wire-rim glasses stepped passed me to get to counter number three. I then noticed there were eight counters in all and began to feel better. Things were moving along. I calculated there were 28 people in queue ahead of me but with eight counters ticking along at five minutes per photo I would be out of there in 15 to 20 minutes max. - with several minutes to spare on the meter. Perhaps I would make a slight detour to Dr. Disc on my way back to the car.

In the next three minutes eight more people entered the office and I noticed sadly that not only was the population at the Ministry of Health now higher than Dorchester’s, but the temperature in the crowded room had risen five degrees. A115 was still being processed, no photos were being taken, there were only three employees on duty behind the eight counters and one of them seemed to be preparing to go for lunch.

It was then I recalled my wife’s earlier words: “You may be there a long time.” And here I was without a book to read (Learn Spanish in Four Hundred Easy Lessons, How to Build a House in Your Spare Time, 1000 Easy Crosswords or From Here to Eternity).


["Time stands still and the temperature is rising": photo GH]

“Excuse me,” I said to my neighbour on the right. (He opened his eyes slowly and rubbed them gently with the backs of his hands.) “Have you been here long?”

“What day is this?” he replied, partially stifling an enormous yawn.

I’d already forgotten: I looked at my watch. “It’s Wednesday. Is that good?”

Without waiting for a reply, A136 rolled onto his side and went back to sleep.

Number a116 flashed onto the LED screen. The next-in-line shuffled slowly to the counter. I should have taken more money for the meter.

***

Time seems to stand still when we wait in line.

Why is that?

Please click here to read Pt 1 ‘I’m still a few quarters short of a health card’

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