Friday, May 13, 2011

It Strikes Me Funny: As GM, I make tough calls

Truth be told, our Fifty-Plus League could run for another 40 years without any help from me.

Its two teams are composed of healthy, fair-minded players. Weekly attendance over four years has been in the 90% range. No checking. No rough stuff. No tough guys trying to prove a point.

As acting and under-paid General Manager, I rejigged the teams at the end of the winter schedule and the first game of the summer season, held yesterday, ended in a draw, 2 - 2.

Two very good teams. Balanced, fair, equal talent on offense and defense.

I'm sure you're wondering. How do I do it? How is it that I'm so brilliant?


["Years of hockey experience sure helps me out": photo of GH]

Some leagues divvy up players by assigning each a number or letter, e.g., a 1, 2, 3, or an A, B, C, based on ability, then spread the talent around equally.

I don’t use that method.

I divide players into five categories, then spread them around evenly.

1. Offense. Moves the puck forward with some skill.

2. Offense Plus. Moves the puck forward and back checks.

3. Defense. Likes to play defense.

4. Defense Plus. Likes to play defense, can skate backwards and block shots.

5. Half the time player. He doesn’t know what the heck he’s doing half the time.

Sure, I have to make some tough calls, but my system works.

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